Raised in a typical Chinese environment, I was susceptible to the stereotypical dream of becoming a doctor. As I progressed through elementary school. I completely embraced my unsatisfiable curiosity and it eventually developed into an interest in the overall concept of science. As I progressed through middle and high school, I found myself indulging on online resources like Wikipedia and researching about random and peculiar things that intrigued me. Pages that always seem to reload on my computer screen are related to human physiology, specifically disease and medicine. With a loving family member who I could consider as my father, succumbing to lung cancer, my interest in medicine skyrocketed and the concept of life is an everlasting lesson I will never forget. With medicine and health completely dominating my intellectual ambitions, I have grown into a cautious and knowledgable man that would pave a path for myself in the medical field.
After further researching, I have become paranoid of diseases that can kill short amount of time such as a tetanus infection. I became wary of infections and abnormal observations. Ignoring persistent teasing of my paranoia, I believe I have trained my immune system to be exceptional among my peers. With the outbreak of the H1N1 swine flu in 2009, I was one of the few exceptions among my peers that did not receive a vaccination for the pandemic. Despite a close friend becoming infected, I did not become ill. On the contrary, I felt better, lighter and more relaxed than before. I am a strong believer that the human immune system is the most effective way to fight disease and I want to develop methods to train it.
Life is the most valuable possession anyone could have and nothing should squander the length of one’s lifespan. Death is irreversible and once one dies, they will never be able to smile, look at you nor respond back. Despite the peer pressure of high school, I had prohibited the consumption of narcotics of an average teenager such as marijuana and alcohol. Many people have succumbed to the poisons but I have fortified against these chemicals. These evils are a threat to health and the laws that prohibit adolescents from consuming these poisons should be reinforce. However, I understand that there are benefits from these chemicals. I have learned to tolerate these type of people to prevent myself from labeling and discriminating these individuals for they have better traits that outshine the malicious ones.
Cautious progression throughout my life has reached the end of my adolescence and changed into a prestigious young adult. Becoming a successful man in the medical field is my aspiration; it will be my dream to concern over others’ health and well being. I have come to be wary of infectious foreign objects and understand how to ease the pain if something were to be contracted. I have gained a passion for life and entering the medical field will be a dream fulfilled.
The end kind of died. It’s off topic I think.
After further researching, I have become paranoid of diseases that can kill short amount of time such as a tetanus infection. I became wary of infections and abnormal observations. Ignoring persistent teasing of my paranoia, I believe I have trained my immune system to be exceptional among my peers. With the outbreak of the H1N1 swine flu in 2009, I was one of the few exceptions among my peers that did not receive a vaccination for the pandemic. Despite a close friend becoming infected, I did not become ill. On the contrary, I felt better, lighter and more relaxed than before. I am a strong believer that the human immune system is the most effective way to fight disease and I want to develop methods to train it.
Life is the most valuable possession anyone could have and nothing should squander the length of one’s lifespan. Death is irreversible and once one dies, they will never be able to smile, look at you nor respond back. Despite the peer pressure of high school, I had prohibited the consumption of narcotics of an average teenager such as marijuana and alcohol. Many people have succumbed to the poisons but I have fortified against these chemicals. These evils are a threat to health and the laws that prohibit adolescents from consuming these poisons should be reinforce. However, I understand that there are benefits from these chemicals. I have learned to tolerate these type of people to prevent myself from labeling and discriminating these individuals for they have better traits that outshine the malicious ones.
Cautious progression throughout my life has reached the end of my adolescence and changed into a prestigious young adult. Becoming a successful man in the medical field is my aspiration; it will be my dream to concern over others’ health and well being. I have come to be wary of infectious foreign objects and understand how to ease the pain if something were to be contracted. I have gained a passion for life and entering the medical field will be a dream fulfilled.
The end kind of died. It’s off topic I think.
Honestly, I think a LOT of it is off topic. I'm going to give you some kind of harsh feedback here, but don't take it badly; this is just a first draft right? OK here goes:
ReplyDelete1. What they're looking for is a sense of what makes you COLLEGE MATERIAL. That can mean a lot of things, but a strong immune system doesn't really work as a focus. A passionate interest in health DOES, but not the particulars of your immune system.
2. Chill out on the vocabulary. This reads very much like you're stretching to sound a certain way you think you should sound. But it sounds pretty unnatural. Don't be afraid to simplify your word choices; your meaning will come across more clearly and genuinely.
Not to pry, but you mention a family member whose struggle with cancer had a big influence on you. If you are comfortable with it, you might try developing this story as a way of explaining in more depth how you came to be who you are now...But that's a judgment call that only you can make.